Western Han - Part VII - Every Direction But the Sea

-117 BC- Emperor Wǔ has the wrongfully-convicted Minister of Agriculture executed.  The minister had been "perceived" by the emperor (or maybe the emperor just hated him and wanted an excuse to have him killed, idk) to oppose a plan to effectively extort double tributes out of princes and marquesses, which I guess the emperor was all for and the minister's opposition pissed him off.  This resulted in all of his courtiers to become scared of experiencing the temperamental emperor's wrath, so they just became yes-men and stopped giving him any sort of meaningful criticism or advice.
   -It seemed as if Emperor Wǔ was letting all of his newfound power go to his head, and was beginning to turn into a huge asshole.
-Anyway, as the Hàn dynasty drove out the Xiōngnú from the Héxī Corridor Emperor Wǔ began to once again eye the southern vassal kingdoms of Mǐnyuè (AKA Mân Việt (unclear as to what "Mân" means here...maybe "Skirt"?)), Nányuè (AKA Nam Việt ("South Việt")), and Diān (AKA Điền quốc) (but Ōuyuè (AKA Dōng'ōu, Dōngyuè, or Âu Việt ("East Việt")) isn't included now because they'd been incorporated into the Hàn dynasty in 138 BC).
   -For a long time Emperor Wǔ just didn't have the resources to do this since he had been fighting the Xiōngnú Empire for so long with such a massive campaign.  However, now that that was over with he must have realized that he was on a roll and began to eye the southern vassal kingdoms (as they were rich in resources and would only require some dumb excuse in order to be invaded)...
      -112 BC- OK so a bit of some backstory- at this time the ruler of Nányuè/Nam Việt was Zhào Xīng (AKA Zhào Āi Wáng, Triệu Hưng, and Triệu Ai Vương).  He was the kingdom's fourth king and up till that point all of Nányuè's kings were descended from their first king Zhào Tuó (Triệu Đà in Vietnamese, and considered by the Vietnamese to be the founder of the Vietnamese Triệu dynasty), a general of the Qín dynasty under King Zhèng/Qín Shǐ Huáng whom had been conquering various lands originally belonging to the Bǎiyuè (Bách Việt (maybe "Hundred Việt" in English?)) people; after the collapse of the Qín dynasty, General Zhào Tuó (whom had already been consolidating power down there anyway) ended up just saying "fuck it" and just decided to stay in the region and declare himself sovereign king of the brand-new kingdom of Nányuè in 221 BC (and during a spat with the Hàn dynasty in 185 BC he actually went so far as to name himself "Emperor Wǔ" ("the Martial Emperor", same name as Emperor Wǔ of the Hàn dynasty haha although Zhào Tuó had the name first so maybe Emperor Wǔ of Hàn copied)) also .  SO, although at this point King Zhào Xīng was perhaps of mixed descent (Hàn and Yuè/Việt), his mother, Empress Dowager Jiū, was Hàn Chinese (apparently from Hándān (modern-day Héběi Province)), and it was the she that was calling all the shots in Nányuè during this time.  Anyway, because Empress Dowager Jiū was Hàn Chinese and seeing that the Hàn dynasty was exploding in power and seemingly expanding in all directions she began to make preparations for Nányuè to merge with the Hàn Empire (which King Zhào Xīng was also down with as well, apparently).  However, these plans were thwarted when Nányuè's powerful prime minister Lǚ Jiā (who, according to Vietnamese legend was a member of the native Luòyuè / Lạc Việt clan, so this would help explain maybe why Lǚ Jiā opposed merging with the Hàn dynasty) and some other government ministers started a coup which dragged on for months before Emperor Wǔ finally heard about the situation down there.
         -Emperor Wǔ decided to send a small force (2000 men) led by General Hán Qiānqiū down to Nányuè in order to restore order.  However, upon crossing the Hàn-Nányuè border both Empress Dowager Jiū, King Zhào Xīng, and various Hàn emissaries (among others, I'm sure) were murdered by Prime Minister Lǚ Jiā and his followers (and Zhào Xīng's brother, Zhào Jiàndé (Triệu Kiến Đức), was declared the new king by the prime minster).
            -Anyway, it wasn't long before Hán Qiānqiū and his small army were attacked and defeated by Nányuè forces, so Emperor Wǔ then decided to pull out all the stops by unleashing a massive force of 100,000 soldiers to invade Nányuè!
               -By the end of 111 BC, Nányuè had been completely conquered and incorporated into the Hàn Empire (divided into 10 prefectures).
   -Both Mǐnyuè and Ōuyuè were Emperor Wǔ's next targets, and they knew it, too, so they decided to strike first and attacked the invading Hán forces who were still in the area, which of course resulted in the immediate complete invasion of both Mǐnyuè and Ōuyuè by the Hán dynasty (which didn't take long to successfully complete).
-109 BC- the Hàn dynasty annexes the kingdom of Diān (located in modern-day Yúnnán Province; inhabited by the indigenous Diān people but was established as a kingdom by a renegade Chǔ general after Chǔ fell to Qín in 221 BC), which apparently was welcomed by Diān's king since he probably felt like his kingdom was trapped between the Hàn behemoth and dangerous barbarians.
-After annexing Diān, Emperor Wǔ's next decided to expand his empire into the Korean peninsula by conquering the ancient kingdom of Joseon (or Gojoseon ("Old Joseon" or "Ancient Joseon") as its known today).
   -It's possible that he did this because he feared of an alliance between Gojoseon and the Xiōngnú Empire.
   -Although Gojoseon had already been there for like 2000 years (!) or so, it seemed to have really come to imperial Chinese attention due to Gojoseon throne being usurped by the Yān (Eighteen Kingdoms) general Wèi Mǎn (or "Wi Man" in Korean) in 194 BC after fleeing Yān after it was conquered by Hàn.
      -Apparently, the Hàn dynasty had been cool with Gojosen after this just as long as they allowed for communication (and maybe trade?) with the state of Jin (located in approximately modern-day South Korea) to pass through unmolested.  However, in 109 BC Gojoseon (at this time ruled by Wèi Mǎn's grandson, King Ugeo (or "Yòuqú" in Chinese I guess?)) decided to cancel this agreement for whatever reason and then on his way back home the Hàn emissary killed his Gojoseon escort at the border, which of course resulted in King Ugeo sending out a force into Hàn territory to arrest the emissary
         -Obviously, this really ended up pissing off Emperor Wǔ, so he used this lame excuse to invade (with a force of about 50,000 men on land as well as some navy in a two-pronged assault).
            -Although Gojoseon was successful in fighting off the Hàn forces for about a year, eventually King Ugeo was assassinated and government ministers began defecting to the Hàn side which resulted in the fall of Gojoseon in 108 BC.  Annexed, it was divided by the Hàn dynasty into four commanderies (which would last for the next four centuries!).
-Next, in the west Emperor Wǔ conquered the small Indo-European Tocharian (AKA Tokharian) kingdoms/city-states of Krorän (or "Lóulán" in Chinese) and Jūshī (AKA Gūshī) and then focused on invading enough Xiōngnú territory in order to establish a (relatively) secure trade route with the Hellenistic kingdom of Dàyuān (AKA Tà-yuān or Dàwān (literally "Great Ionians/Greeks"); located in the modern-day Fergana Region, Uzbekistan) and other Western kingdoms.
-105 BC- Emperor Wǔ forges a military alliance against the Xiōngnú with the powerful, semi-nomadic, Indo-Aryan/Indo-Scythian Wūsūn steppe tribes and sends out Hàn emissaries to the Parthian Empire, the Seleucid Empire, and others.
-104 BC- Emperor Wǔ invades Dàyuān (this would come to be known as The War of the Heavenly Horses (AKA the Hàn-Dàyuān War)).
   -Emperor Wǔ's excuse this time for invasion was because apparently Dàyuān had promised to sell the Hàn dynasty some of their horses (which were considered to be the best in the world by everyone around during this time and also were desperately needed by the Hàn dynasty in their ongoing battles against the Xiōngnú Empire since so many of their horses had died during these wars (estimated to be about 80% of all of the Hàn's horses in the last campaign!)) but then reneged on their offer at the last minute. 
      -During these negotiations between the Hàn dynasty and Dàyuān it seems like things may have gotten hostile as the Hàn emissary ended up getting murdered and his gold confiscated.
         -In retaliation, Emperor Wǔ sent an army led by General Lí Guǎnglì (brother of the emperor's favorite concubine/wife/consort, Lady Lǐ (AKA Lǐ Fūren)) to crush Dàyuān.  However, on their way there... they got lost (doh!) and ended up wandering around the Taklamakan Desert for wayyy too long fighting with local city-states along the way as their supplies ran out and the soldiers started to die.
            -By the time they were actually nearing Dàyuān's capital city "Ershi" (modern-day Khujand, Tajikistan) they had simply lost too many men to invade; because of this, General Lí decided to just give up and go back home.
   -102 BC- General Lí arrives back home in Cháng'ān and tells Emperor Wǔ what happened.  Not wanting to lose face, the emperor decides to just try and invade Dàyuān again, but this time with a much larger force!
      -This was a more successful expedition (most of the city-states along the way gave the army whatever they wanted in order to avoid a fight), although half of General Lí's army died along the way, but after reaching Ershi the Hàn army besieged the city for 40 days before it fell.
         -Because of this, the nobles had their king assassinated and then promised the Hàn army to give them whatever they wanted in exchange for their lives and the city.  After brief negotiations, the Hàn army installed a puppet king friendly to Hàn dynasty and then left with like 3,000 of Dàyuān's famous horses and returned home (although 2/3 would perish on the way back through the Taklamakan Desert!).
            -Because of the overall success of General Lí's second campaign against Dàyuān, the Xiōngnú Empire realized that if the Hàn dynasty could fuck with a nation as far away as Dàyuān then surely they were powerful enough to take on the Xiōngnú Empire for real next (especially since the Hàn armies now had powerful Ferghana horses!), so the Xiōngnú chanyu decided to try and open peace negotiations with Emperor Wǔ, but these talks quickly broke down after some drama and soon the Xiōngnú and Hàn armies began to clash at the border once again.
-One important dude to remember who lived during this time was Sīmǎ Qiān (AKA Zǐzhǎng), compiler of the Records of the Grand Historian (AKA "Shǐjì" or "Tàishǐgōng shū") the source of so much of this material I'm learning about now! 
   -Born around modern-day Yùnchéng, Shānxī Province between 145 BC - 135 BC; his father, Sīmǎ Tán, was the Hàn court astrologer and "grand historian" (scribe) from 140 BC - 110 BC.  After his father died, Sīmǎ Qiān replaced him as the new grand historian of the Hàn dynasty.
      -Before becoming grand historian, Sīmǎ Qiān grew up educated by Confucian scholars and then (around the age of 20) traveling around the empire.  Soon after he returned to the capital he was chosen to be an official palace attendant and soon he found himself traveling around with Emperor Wǔ himself.
         -His involvement with the creation of the Records of the Grand Historian began in 110 BC when he was summoned by his ailing father to return home and finish the shit he had been working on for years. Sīmǎ Qiān quickly returned and soon began working on completing his dad's work after Sīmǎ Tán died.
            -So, I guess it's worth noting that the Records of the Grand Historian is actually by both Sīmǎ Qiān AND Sīmǎ Tán and not just the former.
            -Soon after this, Sīmǎ Qiān was selected to replace his father as the new grand historian.  Anyway, this is where Sīmǎ Qiān enters into our narrative!  How meta!
-99 BC- the Lǐ Líng Affair.
   -Emperor Wǔ sends an army (led by Generals Lǐ Líng (AKA Shàoqīng) and Lí Guǎnglì) to attack the Xiōngnú Empire.  However, during one particular both generals were defeated and then captured by the Xiōngnú.
      -As the Hàn court began to shit all over Lǐ Líng (whom Emperor Wǔ blamed for the whole catastrophe) and how badly he had fucked up, Sīmǎ Qiān came forward as the only one to defend Lǐ Líng, whom Sīmǎ Qiān respected a great deal.
         -This actually ended up pissing off Emperor Wǔ since he felt that Sīmǎ Qiān was implying that it was Lí Guǎnglì's (Lady Lǐ's bro, remember?) fault!  So, Sīmǎ Qiān was arrested, imprisoned, and sentenced to death.  However, during that time executions could be commuted by either paying a huge fine or undergoing castration.  Since Sīmǎ Qiān didn't have the money, he decided to go with castration instead of being killed.
         -Thus, he was imprisoned under brutal conditions for three years before being allowed back into the palace as a eunuch and record-keeper (which was controversial among the courtiers since it was expected that a gentlemen was to commit suicide after suffering the pain and humility of being castrated).
            -We're lucky that Sīmǎ Qiān made the wise decision to continue his work because otherwise we wouldn't have a completed version of the Records of the Grand Historian to use as our primary source for so much Chinese history which perhaps could have been otherwise lost to time!
            -During his time after he returned as a eunuch he continued to work on the Records of the Grand Historian as well as work on other projects, too, such as the brand-new Tàichū ("Grand Beginning") calendar (which defined a solar year as ​365.25 days and a lunar month as ​29.53 days, as well as introducing 24 "solar terms" which divided the year into 24 equal parts) introduced by Emperor Wǔ as the new official calendar of the empire, which was a pretty big deal!
-At this point, it's worth noting that although Emperor Wǔ had greatly expanded the empire and transformed it into an incredibly powerful nation, all of these wars of expansion resulted in constant tax increases for most of the empire's population in order to support the war effort.
   -These increases in taxes, as well as presumably a massive influx of immigrants (from the newly conquered territories), most likely caused widespread civil unrest and soon the imperial justice system began to return to the more harsh forms of punishment introduced by the Legalist Qín dynasty, a departure from the previous Hàn emperors whom had always enforced a more lenient, Confucian and Taoist style of a judicial system.
      -Soon, Emperor Wǔ began to reintroduce the former horrors of familial extermination and greatly overreacting to minor slights... he was clearly drunk with power and turning into a brutal dictator!
         -Because of this, revolts began to spring up all across the empire.
            -In response to this, Emperor Wǔ issued an edict decreeing that government officials who experienced peasant revolts in their territories would be he held directly responsible, punishable by execution!
               -Unfortunately, this just ended up backfiring because government officials would just cover up any evidence of a revolt so as to avoid execution.
               -In addition, Emperor Wǔ must have suspected what was up because he began to grow increasingly paranoid, experiencing nightmares (including one where there were a bunch of wooden puppets beating him with sticks!) and hallucinations. Suspecting he was under the influence of black magic, he began to issue a series of witchcraft persecutions in which anyone was fair game, including the royal family!
                  -This would result in the executions of multiple high officials along with their entire respective clans (!) and even various members of the royal family (including Princess Zhūyì, one of his own daughters!)!
-94 BC- Emperor Wǔ and his consort Lady Zhào (who allegedly was pregnant for 14 MONTHS (yeah right!), the same time amount of time that Emperor Yáo's (one of the legendary Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors who possibly lived c. 2356 – 2255 BC) mother was pregnant with him) have a son- Prince Liú Fúlíng.
   -In commemoration of the birth of his son and the supposed parallels between his wife's pregnancy and Emperor Yáo's mother's, Emperor Wǔ renamed Consort Zhào's palace entrance gate "Gate of Yáo's Mother", which caused a bunch of drama in the royal family because it suggested that Emperor Wǔ had changed his mind about having Crown Prince Wèi (AKA Prince Liú Jù  (birth name) or Crown Prince Lì (posthumously)), who, by all accounts was an intelligent, peaceful man (unlike his father), take over as the heir apparent, and was now favoring his newborn son Liú Fúlíng instead.
      -Conspiracy theories and rumors began to circulate as political divisions in the court sharpened, and soon the two sides began to hurl accusations at each other ranging from witchcraft to adultery.
         -The pro-Emperor Wǔ and Prince Liú Fúlíng side included intelligence minister Jiāng Chōng and chief eunuch (in charge of managing the concubines) Sū Wén.
         -When false evidence of witchcraft was found/presented in Gānquán (in modern-day Xiányáng, Shǎnxī Province (near Cháng'ān)) against Crown Prince Wèi by Minister Jiāng while the crown prince was vacationing there.  Upon hearing the news of what had happened, Crown Prince Wèi's teacher Shí Dé suggested to the crown prince that perhaps this whole situation was like what had happened back during Qín Shǐ Huáng's reign (247-241 BC) with Chief Eunuch Zhào Gāo's involvement in the conspiracy to murder Crown Prince Fúsū!  Could the same thing be happening again?
            -Therefore, Shí Dé recommended that Crown Prince Wèi take a lesson from history and assume the likelihood that Emperor Wǔ was either supremely compromised (by Minister Jiāng Chōng and maybe others, too) or perhaps even murdered and strike against Minister Jiāng first by intercepting him on his way back to the capital and figure out a way to keep him from returning and bringing the trumped-up charges against the crown prince to the Hàn court.
               -Crown Prince Wèi then sent one of his dudes identifying himself as being a messenger sent from the emperor to catch up with Minister Jiāng; upon catching up with them, he was able to have the minister and his entourage arrested (except for Sū Wén, who managed to escape back to the capital) and then executed the minister himself!
                  -Knowing he was in hot water, Crown Prince Wèi then sent word to his mother, Empress Weì, about what was going on.  The empress must have known that her son was in deep shit, so she authorized her own personal palace guard to follow orders from her son and help distribute weapons and equipment to any who would help her son defend himself from the Sū Wén-Jiāng Chōng conspirators.
                  -In retaliation for the execution of Minister Jiāng, Sū Wén told the emperor that Crown Prince Wèi was plotting a rebellion against his father.  However, the emperor (surprisingly) didn't believe what the eunuch was telling him, that his own son was rebelling against him, and that most likely what was happening was that this was some sort of power struggle between the crown prince and Minister Jiāng.
                     -Just to be sure, however, Emperor Wǔ decided to send a messenger to the crown prince summoning him to the Hàn court to explain himself, but I guess the messenger was too scared to get involved so he just left and then later returned falsely reporting that the crown prince was indeed in rebellion against his father, which unfortunately resulted in Emperor Wǔ believing that the crown prince was starting a revolt.  So, the emperor sent an army, led by Prime Minister Liú Qūmáo (or is it Liú Qūlí?) to crush Crown Prince Wèi.
                        -Unfortunately for the crown prince, he was unable to raise a proper army of his own, and although his small force was able to hold their own in the streets of the capital for five days, they were eventually overpowered and the crown prince was forced to flee the city (he was later tracked down (at a kindly shoemaker's house somewhere in Hú County (in modern-day Sānménxiá, Hénán Province) and, being surrounded, he decided to commit suicide before he could be captured.  Both of the crown prince's sons were then killed along with the kindly shoemaker and his family).
                           -Upon hearing of her son's flight from the city, Empress Weì committed suicide before she could be stripped of her position as empress (since it was most likely common knowledge at this point that she had helped her son).
                           -Soon after Empress Weì's suicide most of the members of her clan were arrested and executed by Emperor Wǔ (except, most notably, Empress Weì's grandson (and Crown Prince Weì's son), Liú Bìngyǐ, who was imprisoned, instead).
         -One final victim of note who died as a result of Emperor Wǔ's witchcraft panic was actually General Lí Guǎnglì!
            -This time the drama was caused by the court eunuch Guō Ráng who accused General Lí (his own brother-in-law!) and Prime Minister Liú Qūmáo (!) of using witchcraft to undermine Emperor Wǔ (for some reason).
               -Believing Guō Ráng, Emperor Wǔ had Prime Minister Liú and his family promptly arrested and executed, but after General Lí's family was arrested the general (who was still stationed out on the frontier fighting against the Xiōngnú Empire) knew that the only way he could return home (and possibly save his family, too) without being imprisoned himself would be to score a major, Hail Mary victory against the Xiōngnú, but he ultimately failed and was captured by Xiōngnú forces.
                  -Fun fact: upon surrendering to the Xiōngnú, General Lí actually defected to their side and in return the Xiōngnú chanyu Húlùgū was given one of the chanyu's daughters as a wife.  However, his new life in the Xiōngnú Empire wouldn't last long, as he'd be murdered about a year later by Wèi Lǜ, another Hàn defector over some drama involving Chanyu Húlùgū.
-92 BC- Emperor Wǔ FINALLY begins to wise up to all this witchcraft bullshit and realizes what had actually gone down with his son and the alleged "rebellion" against the throne, and as a result has Sū Wén burned alive and Minister Jiāng's entire family arrested and executed!  He then had both a palace and altar built in memory of Crown Prince Wèi.
   -Emperor Wǔ then issued a public apology to the entire nation for being a huge asshole, and vowed to change his behavior; he also pledged to stop his wars of expansion and focus more on agriculture and infrastructure and shit.
-As Emperor Wǔ's health began to rapidly deteriorate due to old age, he began to focus more on the question of succession (he'd killed the crown prince, of course!).
   -Apparently, the emperor didn't think too much of the next four sons in line (!) and that only the fifth, his beloved Liú Fúlíng, would be a suitable replacement even though he was only like a toddler at this point!
      -To serve as regent, the emperor appointed the high-ranking court official Huò Guāng.
      -However, fearing that allowing for Lady Zhào to potentially continuing to live on as empress dowager would be "too dangerous" of a situation (due to all of the insane horrible shit that previous empress dowagers had done) and so he had her imprisoned and executed!
-87 BC- Emperor Wǔ finally dies.  He'd ruled China for almost 55 years (157 BC - 87 BC), which up till then was a new record and wouldn't be surpassed until the reign of the Kāngxī Emperor of the Qīng dynasty (from 1654-1722 AD).
   -At the time of his death, he had almost doubled the size of the Hán Empire, but this was achieved at the cost of his own people's prosperity.
   -Although he had promoted Confucian thought for most of his life, towards the end he began to slide back into encouraging more Legalist-inspired harsh reforms as he grew more paranoid (which resulted in the mass executions of many people and their and familial clans, including members of his own royal family).
      -This resulted in the empire becoming destabilized as the disgruntled population began to revolt.
   -He also enforced the widespread use of an imperial examination in order to ensure that only the best and brightest would serve as his trusted court advisers (a very Confucian concept).  This was a really important development because it established Confucianism as official imperial doctrine; before that it was all about connections and wealth among the nobility in order to serve as a court official, so having "commoners" promoted to high positions of imperial authority, which certainly must have been a major shock to the system.
-86 BC- Sīmǎ Qiān finally dies (at around age 60) :(

Western Han - Part VI - The Sino-Xiongnu War

-135 BC- so, at this point tensions between the Hàn dynasty and the Xiōngnú Empire were finally coming to a head.
   -The whole héqīn system was humiliating for the Hàn dynasty (considering that they viewed the Xiōngnú as barbarians) and it also didn't work since the Xiōngnú would still raid Hàn territory constantly (at one point even coming as close as 150 km of Cháng'ān!).  Emperor Wǔ had finally had enough.
      -Starting with the reign of Emperor Gāozǔ (back in 202 BC) the Hàn dynasty had steadily been growing richer and more powerful, so much so that Emperor Wǔ felt that he was powerful enough to end the Xiōngnú threat once and for all!
         -I guess it's also worth noting that Emperor Wǔ had probably felt this way ever since he was emperor, but he'd been blocked from taking action against the Xiōngnú for years by Grand Empress Dowager Dòu (who had really been calling the shots behind the scenes for a long time), but upon her death (in 135 BC) finally dealing with the Xiōngnú was back on the table!
   -Many of the battle plans the Hàn dynasty drew up in preparation for the war were based on strategies devised by General Lǐ Mù of Zhào (one of the "Four Great Generals" of the Warring States period) for war with the Xiōngnú (especially the ol' "lure and ambush" trick).
      -For example, the Hàn court came up with a plan to lure the Xiōngnú into an ambush by having a sketchy (but powerful) local trader/smuggler who lived in Mǎyì ("Horse Town"; in modern-day Shuòzhōu, Shānxī Province), a Hàn city near the border, declare his allegiance to Jūnchén Chányú and the Xiōngnú Empire (for some reason) and then prove his loyalty killing the local magistrate and then (somehow) make it so that Jūnchén Chányú and his Xiōngnú horde would easily be able to pass through the gates and raid the city.  Of course, all the while 300,000 Hàn soldiers would be hiding out and waiting to attack the Xiōngnú while they were looting the city.
         -At first, this plan seemed to be working pretty well.  The trader/smuggler dude showed the Xiōngnú that he had followed through with the killing of the local magistrate by hanging his decapitated head (which had actually belonged to a recently-executed criminal) out of a window.  However, as the Xiōngnú horde advanced towards the town they noticed that there were a bunch of cattle in the fields of the city, but no farmers or herdsmen tending to them...which, of course, was a red flag.  Cautiously, the Xiōngnú decided to wait and investigate the situation first before going hogwild in the city, and soon enough they were able to capture a Hàn scout who ended up spilling the beans about the whole operation.
            -Of course, once they figured this out the Xiōngnú didn't hesitate to GTFO, and although the Hàn army tried to chase them down it just didn't work out and the ambush fell apart.
               -Although this incident would become known as The Battle of Mǎyì (135 BC), it wasn't really a battle.  However, it's still significant because it was clear now that the Hàn dynasty was no longer going to put up with the Xiōngnú Empire's bullshit, and that the two empires were now officially hostile towards each other.  In response to the Hàn dynasty's attempted ambush at the Battle of Mǎyì, the Xiōngnú armies stepped up the frequency and intensity of their raids along the border.
                  -Because of the Battle of Mǎyì disaster, Emperor Wǔ realized that they'd have to come up with new strategies and tactics for dealing with the Xiōngnú hordes, since it was obvious that the Xiōngnú had wised up to the more "traditional" ways that the previous Chinese dynasties had dealt with them in the past.  So, he began to promote members of his personal guard to commanding positions of the Hàn military in order to make things more fresh and encourage new ideas, as the "old guard" generals and commanders apparently just wanted to continue with business as usual against the Xiōngnú.
                    -One guard promoted in this way was a dude named Wèi Qīng (half-brother of Weì Zǐfū (AKA Wèi Sīhòu, Empress Xiàowǔ Sī, or Empress Xiào Sī; one of Emperor Wǔ's concubines (who would soon become the second empress after some drama with Empress Chén which cost her her marriage to the emperor))); he would go on to become a key general in what would come to be known as the Hàn-Xiōngnú War (AKA the Sino-Xiōngnú War) starting in 133 BC.
                       -It's also worth noting that Wèi Qīng's (and Empress Xiào Sī's) nephew, Huò Qùbìng, would also soon be promoted to various high-ranking positions in the Hàn military; he'll be introduced into the narrative a bit later, though.
-129 BC- the Xiōngnú hordes attack the Shànggǔ Commandery/Prefecture (not really sure what the difference is at this point, but you get the idea), so Emperor Wǔ sends an army to go fight them off.
   -Unfortunately for the Hàn generals assigned to this mission, the Xiōngnú prove to be extremely tricky, formidable opponents.  However, General Wèi Qīng (the least experienced of the lot) was able to figure them out and had the most success fighting against the Xiōngnú by far.
      -Because of this, Wèi Qīng was promoted, given a title, etc.
-128 BC- Wèi Sīhòu gives birth to a son (I'm sure Emperor Wǔ finally breathed a sigh of relief after this), Liú Jù (AKA Crown Prince Wèi, Crown Prince Lì ("The Unrepentant Crown Prince" (hmmmm...)), etc.), who was immediately named crown prince (obviously).  Additionally, this resulted in Emperor Wǔ marrying Wèi Sīhòu (known posthumously as Empress Xiàowǔ Sī), . officially making her the new empress.
   -Wait, so what happened with the Emperor Wǔ's first wife (Empress Chén)? 
      -Apparently there was a bunch of drama a couple years earlier involving Empress Chén being extremely jealous of Wèi Sīhòu to the point where Empress Chén started resorting to witchcraft and occultic rites in order to curse Wèi Sīhòu, but this didn't work and when the emperor found out he had Empress Chén imprisoned and forced to live under house arrest for the rest of her life. 
-Between 127-123 BC, General Wèi Qīn led increasingly huge forces and was able to win key battles against the Xiōngnú, which of course gained him more titles and prestige and shit (eventually attaining the title of "Generalissimo" ("Dàjiāngjūn") of the entire Hàn military!).
   -Like his uncle, around this time Huò Qùbìng was also similarly achieving remarkable key victories as well (which would eventually lead him to become a general of the Hàn military). 
   -Because of General Wèi Qīng's and General Huò Qùbìng's victories, it would take a few years for the years for the Xiōngnú Empire to recover from its losses and launch another invasion.
-126 BC- Jūnchén Chányú dies; replaced by his brother, Yīzhìxié.
   -Before becoming chányú, Yīzhìxié was the "Worthy Prince of the West" (AKA "Túqí/Wise/Worthy Prince/King of the West/Right" (any of its variations)).
      -OK, so it's worth noting that the Xiōngnú Empire's government was basically organized like this- you had the chányú at the top, and then under him there were the "Worthy Prince of the West" and the "Worthy Prince of the East", and then under them there were two more dudes, and then under them two more dudes, etc.
         -The "Worthy Prince of the West" title meant that you were of the same clan as the current chányú and were also the heir apparent to the throne, whereas if you were the Worthy Prince of the East you came from the aristocratic (and matriarchal) Hūyǎn clan.
         -Although both princes were ultimately beholden to the chányú, they were still highly autonomous and could wage war on their own if they wanted to and stuff like that.
-119 BC- because of the severe losses of warriors, resources, and territory, Yīzhìxié Chányú finally decided to pull back the Xiōngnú forces to the northern half of the Gobi Desert, thinking that there would be no way that the Hàn armies would be so brazen as to attempt to attack them by crossing the desert. 
   -However, the chányú was mistaken.  Emperor Wǔ launched an invasion force which was to go straight across the desert and attack the Xiōngnú as they attempted to recover from their devastating losses in the south.
      -This would come to be known as the Battle of Mòbĕi ("Mòbĕi" meaning "Northern Desert").  The Hàn forces were led by both General Wèi Qīng and General Huò Qùbìng.
         -On the run and facing two of the Hàn dynasty's greatest generals (in terms of specializing in kicking the Xiōngnú's ass), the Xiōngnú's armies were utterly crushed (although Wèi Qīng had a much more difficult time with his skirmishes). That being said, the Hàn forces suffered pretty brutal losses as well.
            -The aftermath of key battle resulted in a Xiōngnú-Hàn ceasefire established after the Battle of Mòbĕi, although this wouldn't last long (only seven years haha and then the Xiōngnú would start raiding again south of the border) because the Hàn dynasty made the mistake of insisting that the Xiōngnú Empire become a tributary of the Hàn Empire (kind of like a reverse héqīn system that had been set up previously between the two).
-Ultimately, the Hàn dynasty was able to wrest control of key Xiōngnú-contested regions such as the Ordos Plateau (Èěrduōsī), the Héxī (or Gānsù) Corridor (Héxī Zǒuláng), and the Gobi (AKA Gēbì, Gowĭ) Desert.  The Xiōngnú Empire was now significantly smaller and for the most part had to live in and around southern Siberia (which must have really sucked).
   -This was significant because not only did it severely cripple the Xiōngnú Empire to the point where it began to decline as a whole (and would never recover), but the new territory gained by the Hàn Empire allowed it to expand its trade and culture (as well as political influence and military presence) westward and ultimately into what is now modern-day Central Asia (and the development of what would come to be known as the Northern Silk Road (although it kind of existed before this time but was probably way less developed and way more dangerous)).
      -This stable access to the West allowed for the Hàn dynasty to greatly transform their economy through trade and other shit, and they quickly populated the region with their own people and military (which included expanding the old Qín dynasty's fortifications into the area as well).
         -Because of this, the Hàn dynasty was now more powerful than ever before; the Xiōngnú Empire unfortunately would continue to decline and lose territory over the coming decades as various regions declared independence from the Xiōngnú chányú. 

Western Han - Part V - Go West, Young Han!

-141 BC- So, Emperor Wǔ (age 15) was now the ruler of the Hàn Empire!
   -He was born in 156 BC as Prince Liú Chè, the son of Emperor Jǐng and Empress Wáng (AKA Lady Wáng, etc.) in Cháng'ān (capital of the Hàn Empire, modern-day Xī'ān, Shǎnxī Province).
      -According to legend, while she was pregnant Empress Wáng had had a dream in which a sun had fallen into her belly or something, which of course was an omen that this child was destined for greatness!
      -It was obvious that Emperor Jǐng had chosen Prince Liú Chè as his favorite son; for example, by the age of three he was already named prince of Jāodōng.
      -Anyway, a bunch of family drama happened between the time of his birth and his enthronement, but we covered most of that in the last post so don't worry about it too much.
   -Emperor Wǔ's style of rule was quite different than that of both his father and grandfather (who were largely "hands off" (wú wéi) in this respect, heavily influenced by Taoism).
      -While wú wéi had worked really well in terms of rejuvenating the empire's economy (which had gotten really fucked up during the Chǔ-Hàn Contention) due to the dynasty's 1-2 punch of government decentralization and economic freedom, but at the same time this (just like in the past with the Zhōu dynasty) gave vassal kings/princes too much power which of course ended up destabilizing the region.
      -To make matters worse, nepotism/corruption had infiltrated the government at all levels which resulted in a ruling class (made up of Liú clan members and their extended family (I'm pretty sure, at least for the most part)) that held themselves above the law (which was just there to control the peasants, of course).
      -For example, one of the first reforms Emperor Wǔ attempted to make upon his enthronement was to change the Hàn dynasty's embarrassing héqīn policy which up till that point had been how they had been attempting to placate the Xiōngnú, but obviously it wasn't working out too well since the Xiōngnú would benefit greatly from the héqīn system but then just invade Hàn territory anyway.
         -However, attempting to change this official policy (among many others) proved to be much harder than the emperor had anticipated, as he (of course) began to clash with the Hàn dynasty "deep state" of entrenched government officials, courtiers, nobility, and even his grandmother, Grand Empress Dowager Dòu (AKA Dòu Yīfáng, Empress Xiàowén (previously), etc.)), who was still a hardcore Taoist (even though Emperor Wǔ seemed to be drawn towards Confucianism way more than Taoism).
            -For example, when two of the emperor's advisers began to urge him to stop listening to Grand Empress Dowager Dòu, she had the two advisers arrested, tried for corruption (ironic...), and then forced to commit suicide, in addition to some other shady stuff.
      -To make matters more complicated, Emperor Wǔ and Empress Chén (his cousin!) were unable to produce any sons.  In addition to this, the empress had forbidden the emperor to have any concubines (ha!), so he wasn't able to have any sons that could serve as heirs that way, either!
         -Soon, the emperor's political opponents began using this as an excuse to claim that he wasn't prepared enough or even suitable as ruler of the empire and shit like that.
            -Apparently, even Grand Empress Dowager Dòu was plotting his removal, hoping to replace him with uncle Liú Ān (a grandson of Emperor Gāozǔ), vassal king of Huáinán (and apparently the inventor of soy milk and/or tofu! haha) and hardcore Taoist.
            -Realizing that he was very short on allies in the court, the emperor desperately reached out to his mother-in-law, Princess Liú Piáo.
               -Unfortunately, Princess Liú just ended up taking advantage of the emperor and his compromised position, so this resulted in an absolutely desperate Emperor Wǔ going to his mother, Empress Dowager Wáng, in order to try and have her get the grand empress dowager to be more reasonable.  However, his mom just advised him to just buck up and do his best to weather the storm...after all, Grand Empress Dowager Dòu was getting pretty old at this point and probably wouldn't be living for too much longer.
                  -Emperor Wǔ, realizing that he really didn't have much of a choice otherwise, decided to heed his mother's advice (although the grand empress dowager would continue to live for another few years! Doh (or Dòu :p))!  During this time he just went on hunting and sightseeing trips and shit like that, while at the same time doing his best to shore up as much support as he could manage.
         -Anyway, it didn't take too long for the emperor to figure out that the key source of his opposition was from the Three Lords and Nine Ministers (Sān Gōng Jiǔ Qīng), the government's central administrative system which had been introduced during the Qín dynasty and was composed of:
            -Three Lords:
               -Grand Chancellor (or Prime Minister)
               -Imperial Secretary
               -Grand Commandant
            -Nine Ministers:
               -Minister of Ceremonies
               -Supervisor of Attendants
               -Commandant of the Guards
               -Minister of Coachmen
               -Commandant of Justice
               -Grand Herald
               -Director the Imperial Clan
               -Grand Minister of Agriculture
               -Small Treasurer (haha)
            -However, it's worth noting that the Three Lords and Nine Ministers weren't necessarily against the emperor himself per se, they were just extremely conservative and anti-reform.
               -Realizing this, Emperor Wǔ knew that he would have to work around the TLNM (instead of through), so he began to appoint commoners to mid-level positions in the government, banking on the idea that they would be high enough in level to have a significant influence on government administration but at the same time be low enough to be relatively anonymous as well.
                  -This group of officials were loyal to the emperor because he was the source of their power (since the bottom line was that they were still commoners), and Emperor Wǔ dubbed these loyalists his "insider court" (nèi cháo).
                  -In addition to this insider court, the emperor also made a huge push to have scholars and other intellectuals from commoner backgrounds to seek government positions (in order to off-balance the Liú clan's stranglehold on power).
-138 BC- war breaks out between the independent (I think?) vassal kingdoms of Mǐnyuè (AKA Mân Việt (in Vietnamese)) and Ōuyuè (AKA Dōng'ōu (or Âu Việt (in Vietnamese))) to the south, as the former invaded the latter.
   -These "-yuè" kingdoms were actually made up of ethnically non-Chinese indigenous people who were the ancestors of the Vietnamese (and maybe other Southeast Asian peoples, idk), although the Chinese had always just referred to these people as the Yuè people/tribes (AKA Bǎiyuè, Hundred Yuè, or Việt (in Vietnamese)).
      -Of course, this is starting to get into controversial territory because China has always claimed that these Yuè/Việt kingdoms were Chinese, but Vietnam has always claimed that these were actually Vietnamese people, so that's important to keep in mind.
   -Dōng'ōu called on the Hàn dynasty for help, and after some debate Emperor Wǔ agreed that the best course of action was to send reinforcements (led by an official named Yán Zhù) to help defend Mǐnyuè.  However, there was one problem- Emperor Wǔ didn't actually possess the authority to dispatch troops since he wasn't in possession of the tiger tally (hǔ fú), a bronze (previously jade) artifact/token whose possessor indicated the authority to mobilize armies (the way it had been since perhaps as early as the Warring States period, if not earlier); instead, it was actually Grand Empress Dowager Dòu who had the tiger tally.
      -Grand Empress Dowager Dòu didn't give a fuck about defending Ōuyuè, which she probably considered to be a backwater and unworthy of imperial attention in the first place.
      -So, the emperor and Yán Zhù decided to circumvent this technicality by just ignoring it!  When Yán Zhù arrived at the Kuàijī Commandery (near Ōuyuè) to mobilize the navy there, the local commander refused to follow Yán Zhù's orders because Yán Zhù didn't have the tiger tally... so Yán Zhù simply had the commander executed!  Obviously, that got people moving, and it didn't take long for the armies of Mǐnyuè to abort their attempted invasion of Ōuyuè.
         -This was significant not necessarily because of what happened with Mǐnyuè backing down, but instead because it was obvious that Emperor Wǔ had realized that he was no longer beholden to the traditional laws which restricted his authority (such as only being able to command the armies if you possessed the tiger tally (which is obviously a little silly)), and that imperial decree could potentially supersede all other checks on his power.
-Later in 138 BC- Emperor Wǔ's concubine, Weì Zǐfū, became pregnant with his first child (which was important because up until that point he wasn't able to have any kids!).
   -It's also worth noting that, as stated above, Empress Chén had forbidden Emperor Wǔ to have any concubines, but I guess after years of sexual frustration and the inability to have kids with the empress (which of course his political opponents had used to attack his legitimacy as ruler) the emperor had had enough and finally brought a concubine (a dancing girl he met at a party) back to the palace, which I'm sure pissed off Empress Chén to no end.
-135 BC- Grand Empress Dowager Dòu finally dies.
   -Soon after her death, Emperor Wǔ realized that he had full control of the government and used this as an opportunity to declare an end to all of the Taoist influence on public policy, with Confucianism becoming the new official ideology of the state.
-It was around this time that Emperor Wǔ decided to expand his empire in all directions (except for the sea to the east), starting with the invasion of Mǐnyuè in the south!
   -This was triggered by Mǐnyuè invading another state, this time Nányuè (located directly to the south of the Hàn Empire).
      -Nányuè had just enthroned a new king, Zhào Miè (AKA Triệu Mạt (in Vietnamese)), and I guess Mǐnyuè decided to take advantage of the new king's presumed inexperience by invading.
      -So, Emperor Wǔ sent an amphibious force by sea to attack Mǐnyuè, which (once again) ended up freaking out Mǐnyuè to the point where its elites/nobility (led by the king's younger brother, Zōu Yúshàn) had Mǐnyuè's king (unclear as to what his name actually was/is) arrested and executed, with his decapitated head sent to the Hàn army as a peace offering.  This worked, of course, but this time the Hàn dynasty decided to cripple Mǐnyuè by dividing it in half; its western half would still go by the name "Mǐnyuè" (and be controlled by the Hàn dynasty through a puppet king, Zōu Chǒu (grandson of the founder (I think) of the Mǐnyuè kingdom)), but its eastern half would be merged with Ōuyuè (I guess?).
         -Of course, nobody in Mǐnyuè recognized King Zōu Chǒu's authority since they knew he was a puppet king, so he was immediately toppled by Zōu Yúshàn who just crowned himself king of Mǐnyuè at that point (since he was probably so tired of initiating coups!).
   -Meanwhile, tensions were finally coming to a head between the Hàn dynasty and the Xiōngnú Empire, as it was obvious that the latter were still constantly invading the former's lands despite the héqīn policy.  Emperor Wǔ had finally had enough.
      -The emperor sent the court official Zhāng Qiān (along with Gānfù, a Xiōngnú POW who would serve as Zhāng Qiān's guide and translator) as an imperial envoy to find the mysterious Yuèzhī (AKA the Tocharians/Tokharians (although this is controversial so maybe they weren't the same) according to the Greeks) people, pastoral nomads whom up till that point had been living to the west of the Hàn Empire but had recently pushed out (around modern-day Tajikistan) by the Xiōngnú.
         -This region formerly occupied by the Yuèzhī was important to the Hàn dynasty because it was essential for trade, and it now being occupied by the Xiōngnú was a huge problem for the empire.  Emperor Wǔ's plan was for Zhāng Qiān to try and entice the Yuèzhī to help the Hàn dynasty fight off the Xiōngnú from the region so that the Yuèzhī could re-occupy it (I'm presuming that they would be living under the Hàn dynasty, however).
            -Of course, upon entering Xiōngnú territory it didn't take long for Zhāng Qiān and his entourage to get captured (haha what were they thinking??) and enslaved.
               -During his time as a slave Zhāng Qiān (among other things, I'm sure) befriended a local Xiōngnú leader, married a Xiōngnú woman, and even had a son with his wife, too, but after 10 years (!!) he was finally able to escape (along with Gānfù and his family) to territory occupied by the Yuèzhī (arriving in 129 BC).
                  -Fun fact- during their flight from the Xiōngnú, Zhāng Qiān and his crew passed through Dàyuān (AKA Tà-yuān; apparently it literally means "Great Ionians" (!)), an ancient kingdom located in modern-day eastern Uzbekistan, southern Kyrgyzstan and northern Tajikistan; Dàyuān's people were actually the descendants of Greek colonists whom had occupied the region during the conquests of Alexander the Great and were described by the Hàn as having "Caucasian" features and being of a similar culture to that of the Greco-Bactrian Kingdom (an ancient Hellenistic kingdom located in parts of modern-day Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, northern Pakistan, and Kazakhstan (with whom the Chinese had made contact with as early as the Qín dynasty in 220 BC, if not earlier (who referred to this region (Bactria) as Dàxià))).
                  -Unfortunately for Zhāng Qiān, his quest was in vain- the Yuèzhī seemed to have already gotten used to their situation and acclimated to their new home, so they expressed zero interest in getting into a military alliance with the Hàn dynasty against the Xiōngnú (who were probably also the most dangerous dudes in the region whom you absolutely did not want to fuck with haha).  So, Zhāng Qiān just ended up staying with the Yuèzhī for about a year, during which he documented their culture and lifestyle.
         -Anyway, to return home Zhāng Qiān decided on taking a different route (presumably so that he wouldn't just end up getting captured again by the Xiōngnú), but of course he just ended up getting captured again by the Xiōngnú (doh!!) except this time he was only enslaved for like two years.
            -Zhāng Qiān managed to escape and finally return home to Cháng'ān in 126 BC, whereupon his journeys were recorded and documented by the emperor and various other Hàn scholars, and Zhāng Qiān himself was rewarded lavishly and promoted with a new position in the imperial court.
               -Besides Dàyuān and the Yuèzhī, Zhāng Qiān also documented his encounters with many other ancient cultures/kingdoms occupying modern-day Central Asia during that time, including Kāngjū (AKA Sogdia or Sogdiana (probably), an Iranian people) and Dàxià (Bactria (see above)).  In addition to the places he visited, he also recorded information about other cultures/kingdoms he learned about, including Shēndú (probably referring to the region of Sindh and most likely occupied by an Indo-Greek kingdom which had inherited the name), Anxī (the Parthians), Tiáozhī (the Seleucids), and the pastoral nomads of Yǎncài (nomads of "the Vast Steppe" (around the Túrkistan Region of Kazakhstan).
      -Zhāng Qiān would actually return to the West once again in 119 BC, this time to make contact with the Wūsūn people (presumably to establish a (relatively) safe trade route with the Parthian Empire), steppe nomads whom had clashed with with both the Yuèzhī and Xiōngnú (among others, I'm sure) in the past.
         -His journey seemed to go well, and he returned to Cháng'ān in 115 BC having successfully established diplomatic ties between the Hàn dynasty and the Wūsūn.
      -Zhāng Qiān finally died in 113 BC.  His routes to/from the Hàn Empire would roughly lay the blueprint for what would become the Silk Road soon after this time.

Western Han - Part IV - The Rule of Wen and Jing

-180 BC- so, it seems like things had finally settled down for the most part following all of the violence during the Lǚ Clan Disturbance and the subsequent enthronement of Emperor Wén of Hàn.
  -Emperor Wén (born Liú Héng in 202 BC) had grown up as the son of Emperor Gāozǔ and Consort Báo (AKA Empress Dowager Báo (or Bo), Empress Dowager Xiàowén, Empress Gāo, etc.), one of Emperor Gāozǔ's concubines.
      -His father had named him the Prince of Dài in 196 BC (when he was like six years old haha), and because this region was considered a key strategic point of defense against the Xiōngnú Empire by the Hàn dynasty Liú Héng grew up with a strong military/national defense-related background (although it's unclear as to if he himself ever served in the army).
   -Upon being enthroned, Emperor Wén immediately seemed like a breath of fresh air for the position because a) an adult (as opposed to previous succession of child-emperors) and b) was a competent administrator and compassionate ruler.
      -His rule was heavily influenced by Taoism (in large part because of his ardent Taoist wife, Empress Dòu (AKA Empress Xiàowén (not to be confused with Emperor Wén's mother, Empress Dowager Xiàowén (see above))), which was a departure from the strictly Legalist "no-nonsense" rule of law imposed by the Qín dynasty (and, to a lesser extent, the previous Hàn rulers).  Emperor Wén just seemed like a chill bro.
         -Property taxes were greatly reduced and food surpluses were increased in order to prevent starvation and shit.
         -He outlawed the arrest and imprisonment of family members of criminals (except in cases of treason).
         -He started various government assistance programs for the poor (including quite possibly the world's first social security program!).
         -He introduced the very first imperial examination system (kējǔ), which was a huge development because before that there hadn't been any official standardization for who was qualified to serve as government officials (which obviously was a huge source of government corruption).
         -In 179 BC he also made peace with Nányuè (AKA Nam Việt), a kingdom (in modern-day north Vietnam and southeast China) to the south established by the Qín dynasty general Zhào Tuó (AKA Triệu Đà in Vietnamese) after the collapse of the Qín dynasty in 204 BC.
            -Although Nányuè had been considered an independent vassal kingdom of the Hàn dynasty things quickly turned sour between the two governments after the death of Emperor Gāozǔ (around 183 BC Zhào Tuó crowned himself emperor of Nányuè (obviously implying that he was no longer a subordinate of the Hàn dynasty) and began to raid the Hàn Empire's southern border with Nányuè), but Emperor Wén was able to improve relations once again between the two and soon Zhào Tuó had once again pledged fealty to the Hàn dynasty and renounced his imperial claim.
         -He even went so far as to take seriously a solar eclipse (which was an ill omen for the ancient Chinese (and probably many other cultures during this time)) by allowing for government officials to voice their honest criticisms and concerns regarding his rule and taking their recommendations seriously!
         -However, Emperor Wén's rule wasn't without its blemishes as well.
            -For example, for whatever reason he decided that it would be OK to allow anyone to mint their own coinage as long as they could provide the copper and tin required for it.  Of course, this immediately provided a huge benefit for those who happened to own copper and/or tin mines, which resulted in an imbalance of power because it allowed for a few individuals to become ludicrously wealthy really fast (and thus took some power away from the government) and would have disastrous consequences for the Hàn dynasty in the near future.
-174 BC- Mòdú Chányú dies and is replaced by his son, Jīzhōu (AKA Jiyu), who was enthroned as Lǎoshàng Chányú of the Xiōngnú Empire.
   -In order to renew the héqīn system with the the new chányú, Emperor Wén sent a princess (among other things, presumably) of the royal family to be Lǎoshàng Chányú's new empress/concubine.
      -Of course, this still didn't stop Xiōngnú raids into Hàn territory (for some reason; maybe the chányús either couldn't stop it or just didn't care because they'd receive tribute anyway), so in response to these raids a Hàn court official named Cháo Cuò convinced Emperor Wén to set up a system in which anyone who donated food or supplies to the war effort against the Xiōngnú would be granted new titles for their contributions as well as have any past crimes pardoned by the state.
         -Emperor Wén must have thought this was a genius idea because upon implementing this new system of resource gathering from the population Cháo Cuò was elevated in status to where he was allowed to become a personal servant of Crown Prince Liú Qǐ's house, which must have been quite the honor!
-167 BC- Emperor Wén bans the punishment of torture and mutilation (specifically face tattoos branding criminals as such for life as well as the cutting off of noses and feet and shit), decreeing that criminals were to be whipped for their crimes, instead, believing this to be more humane.
   -However, this actually backfired, unfortunately, and proved to actually be more fatal than the previous methods of punishment!
-165 BC- even though he wasn't that old, apparently Emperor Wén began to become increasingly concerned about his own mortality, and this caused him to become more superstitious which of course resulted in him inviting a mysterious self-proclaimed "sorcerer" named Xīnyuán Píng to the court in order to advise him on supernatural matters.
   -Because of Xīnyuán Píng's influence, Emperor Wén began building a bunch of temples to the gods and shit and becoming overly-preoccupied with stuff like this but by the following year eventually the emperor realized that the sorcerer was a fraud and had him executed (along with his family!).  After this, Emperor Wén went back to ruling as he had before (probably feeling most foolish, too).
-158 BC- the Xiōngnú launched a major invasion deep into Hàn territory, which eventually got serious enough that the Hàn armies began to prepare for a defense of Cháng'ān (Hàn dynasty capital).
   -It was during this time that Emperor Wén met Zhōu Yǎfū (son of General Zhōu Bó, one of Liú Bāng / Emperor Gāozǔ's best generals during the Chǔ-Hàn Contention), a young military commander.
      -As the emperor was taking a tour of the Hàn camps and fortifications he noticed that all the officers seemed to bend over backwards to accommodate his every need or request, but Zhōu Yǎfū was more focused on remaining alert and making sure everyone was still following protocol and stuff haha.
         -Emperor Wén was so impressed with Zhōu Yǎfū that he instructed the Crown Prince Liú Qǐ to get Commander Zhōu as his main general in the future if the Hàn dynasty ever faced an existential threat (foreshadowing!).
            -Anyway, I guess the Hàn armies ended up driving off the Xiōngnú because it doesn't look like this particular invasion really went anywhere after this.
-157 BC- Emperor Wén dies and is replaced by Crown Prince Liú Qǐ (enthroned as Emperor Jǐng of Hàn (AKA Emperor Xiàojǐng ("The Filial and Decisive Emperor"))), who was 32 years old at the time of his enthronement (his dad was like 14 when he was born haha).
   -In his will Emperor Wén made it explicitly clear that he didn't want some super-long drawn-out mourning period (before this, whenever an emperor died there was always a lengthy period of mourning in which weddings, sacrifices, drinking, and the consumption of meat were all disallowed, which I'm sure was really annoying for everyone else), and instead just limited it to three days instead.  He also allowed for all of his concubines to be relieved of duty (instead of the usual custom which was for the concubines who never produced any children (or sons maybe?) to be forced to "guard" their emperor husband in his tomb "for the rest of eternity" (which I'm assuming means they had to be buried alive with the emperor's corpse in his tomb)).
      -Definitely seems like he was probably a chill bro.
   -In addition to the crown prince and his various other children, Emperor Wén was survived by Empress Dòu (mother of Crown Prince Liú Qǐ / Emperor Jǐng), who thus became Empress Dowager Dòu after her husband's death.
      -Empress Dowager Dòu would continue to have a strong influence on her son the emperor, but it definitely wasn't anything close to the insanity that was Empress Dowager Lǚ's psychopathic reign of terror.
   -Emperor Jǐng's wife was Empress Bò (most likely his like second cousin or something), although she quickly fell out of favor with her husband because she didn't produce a male heir (with the possible addition that she also either wasn't very attractive and/or not good at sex, unfortunately).
   -Upon being enthroned, Emperor Jǐng continued many of the same policies that had been put in place by his father (although he did reduce the severity of flogging as punishment seeing as it was actually resulting in deaths as opposed to "just" being mutilated (used as punishment before that)).
-Although things were going pretty well for Emperor Jǐng, there was trouble brewing on the horizon due to so many of his family members (who had become powerful princes or lords in their own regions of power) who slowly began to challenge his authority.
   -How had these family members gotten so powerful in the first place?
      -Emperor Gāozǔ had created too many titles for so many of his various family members and relatives (most likely in order to get them away from the capital so that they wouldn't constantly be challenging him in the imperial court, but also in order to consolidate all of the empire under the control of a relatively unified clan), and these various vassal princes and lords were able to mint their own coinage (thanks Emperor Wén!), raise their own armies (since they were largely responsible for defending their respective territories), as well as make their own laws and even ignore imperially-decreed laws (most likely due to the lax nature of Emperor Wén and Emperor Jǐng's rule).
         -Obviously, these various vassal princes and lords had gotten too powerful.
   -The worst offender in terms of challenging Emperor Jǐng's authority was Prince Liú Pì of Wú (nephew of Emperor Gāozǔ).
      -Wú had really thrived under Emperor Wén due to its abundance of copper, salt, and other natural resources, and its most likely that the vassal kingdom took full advantage of the emperor's lax attitude about them minting their own coinage and shit.
      -It seems like the drama between Emperor Jǐng and Prince Liú Pì started before Emperor Jǐng's imperial enthronement (when he was still Crown Prince Liú Qǐ).
         -Liú Qǐ was playing a board game (liùbó) with Liú Xián (Liú Pì's heir apparent) and eventually the two got in an argument and Liú Qǐ got so pissed off that he threw the board at Liú Xián's head, killing him.  Naturally, this resulted in Liú Pì hating Liú Qǐ for killing his son and heir apparent (justifiably so, I'd say!).
      -In order to try and force Wú to submit to imperial authority, the imperial advisor Cháo Cuò suggested that they should annex a portion of Wú's territory (along with portions of any other uppity vassal kingdom's) and bring it under imperial control directly.
         -Although Emperor Jǐng did initially express concern that this would spark a mass rebellion against the throne, he also realized that this was probably inevitable anyway given the increasing arrogance of these upstart vassal kingdoms (and that it was also probably better to spark a rebellion now rather than later when they could become more organized).
-154 BC- Emperor Jǐng decreed that he would be annexing portions of the vassal kingdoms of Chǔ, Zhào, Jiāoxī, and Wú.  These portions would then be ruled directly by the imperial throne.  Of course, this sparked a rebellion (haha) by all the vassal kingdoms being annexed (in addition to being joined by the vassal kingdoms of Jiāodōng, Jǐnán, and Zīchuān).
   -A couple other vassal kingdoms were planning on rebelling as well but it ended up not working out (for various reasons).
      -The rebels also reached out to the "independent" (or maybe they were also vassal states? idk) kingdoms of Dōng'ōu (AKA Ōuyuè) and Mǐnyuè (both of whom ended up sending troops to help the rebellion) as well as the Xiōngnú Empire (who ended up flaking out)!
         -Thus began the Rebellion of the Seven States ("Qī Guó Zhī Luàn", AKA the Revolt of the Seven Kingdoms).
            -Initially, the rebel states claimed that Cháo Cuò was just trying to pick a fight with them (for whatever reason); at the same time, other officials began putting it out there that perhaps all of this was Cháo Cuò's fault and that if the emperor had Cháo Cuò executed then maybe these rebel states would calm down and there wouldn't be a civil war after all.
               -Surprisingly, this actually seemed to convince Emperor Jǐng that maybe they were right, and soon he had Cháo Cuò imprisoned and executed!  Of course, this wasn't true at all and it wasn't long before the rebel states declared an open hostility towards the Hàn dynasty (so that was pretty shitty what happened to Cháo Cuò, then!).
            -After much debate, the rebel kingdoms decided to focus on invading the vassal kingdom of Liáng (ruled by the emperor's younger brother, Prince Liú Wǔ), and it didn't take long for them to successfully do so.
               -Heeding his father's advice, Emperor Jǐng entrusted General Zhōu Yǎfū to lead the imperial forces in quelling the rebellion.  However, when the emperor ordered General Zhōu to rush to Liáng's defense, the general refused.  Instead, he argued, the army should focus on breaking down the rebels' supply lines and retreat options; he also believed that Prince Liú would be able to survive long enough under siege (at Suīyáng (modern-day Shāngqiū, Hénán Province), Liáng's capital) that by the time the Hàn army took out out the rebels' supply lines they would have no choice but to try and fight off the Hàn as opposed to wasting their time laying siege to Suīyáng.
                  -General Zhōu's strategy ended up working out well, and when they rebel armies tried to drive off the imperial army and reestablish their supply lines they failed, and soon were crushed.  Eventually, the rebellion fell apart and the rebel princes were either imprisoned and executed (by their own people for getting them involved in such a dumb war) or they just ended up committing suicide since they believed they were fucked.  However, those that survived the ordeal found themselves pardoned by Emperor Jǐng (!) and allowed to just return to their normal lives! 
                     -Everything more or less then went back to the way it was before the war, and Zhōu Yǎfū was made prime minister.
                     -The Rebellion of the Seven States had come to an end, and the Hàn Empire was united once more!
-Although Emperor Jǐng was still in good health (I'm assuming), the focus of the court now turned to the question of succession.
   -Empress Bò had "failed" to produce any sons, so during this time it was still kind of up in the air as to who would succeed Emperor Jǐng after he croaked. 
      -The emperor eventually decided on Liú Róng (his son with his concubine Lady Lì), who was then officially named Crown Prince Lì.
         -However, this ended up not working out because Lady Lì fucked it all up by being shitty to the emperor's older sister, Princess Guǎntáo (AKA Liú Piáo), among other things, which caused a bunch of drama and resulted in the emperor demoting Crown Prince Lì to simply "the Prince of Línjiāng" (womp womp).
-151 BC, Emperor Jǐng decided that he was done with Empress Bò and so he had her title as empress removed and took his favorite concubine, Lady Wáng (AKA Wáng Zhì), as his new wife; she was thus given the title "Empress Wáng of Jǐng", and their son, Liú Chè, was then named crown prince.
-147 BC- although Zhōu Yǎfū was probably a wise and competent prime minister, he kept on stubbornly clashing with too many others (including the emperor himself) on important decisions, and eventually he was fired from the job. 
   -A few years later there was some more weird drama and Zhōu Yǎfū ended up getting arrested and imprisoned, whereupon he committed suicide.
-141 BC- Emperor Jǐng dies, replaced by Crown Prince Liú Chè who is then enthroned as Emperor Wǔ of Hàn ("The Martial Emperor of Hàn").

Western Han - Part III - The Bloody Empress

-195 BC- Emperor Gāozǔ was dead, so he was replaced by Crown Prince Liú Yíng as the next emperor (who would be enthroned as Emperor Hùi of Hàn).

   -However, it was obvious to everyone that it wasn't Emperor Hùi who was calling the shots at this point, but his mother, the cruel Empress Lǚ, who was really running the show (especially considering that Emperor Hùi was only like 15 when he was enthroned, so his mother had actually been officially granted the title “empress dowager” meaning that she could rule as regent until Emperor Hùi came of age to rule on his own). 

      -To make things more complicated, Emperor Gāozǔ had actually wanted Prince Liǘ Rúyì (his son with his favorite concubine, Consort Qī, to be his heir), but this didn’t actually work out and eventually the emperor took it back.  It’s unclear as to why really he wanted Liǘ Rúyì to be heir, but officially the reason was because Liú Yíng was seen as being too “kind”, “tolerant”, and “weak-willed” (aww). 

         -Emperor Gāozǔ knew that naming his son with Consort Qī would be met with fierce hostility from the empress, so he had actually gone to great lengths to give Liǘ Rúyì power so that after he (Emperor Gāozǔ) died then at least Liǘ Rúyì would have some ability to protect himself should he not be enthroned.

            -Emperor Gāozǔ did this by having Liǘ Rúyì enthroned as the vassal king (or prince) of Dài in 200 BC, and having his trusted official Zhōu Chāng (who was actually a close friend of the empress’) watch over him to try and keep him out of harm’s way.  He was then named vassal king/prince of Zhào in 198 BC (I’m not sure if this was in addition to being prince of Dài or he was just being moved around).  This allowed for Liǘ Rúyì to effectively remain out of the capital and away from the empress.

-Anyway, because of all of the drama with Consort Qī and her son potentially becoming heir to the throne instead of her own son, Empress Lǚ immediately set out seek retribution against Consort Qī for this (whether Consort Qī intended to rock the boat or not!).

   -With the death of Emperor Gāozǔ, Empress Dowager Lǚ immediately had Consort Qī arrested and imprisoned on fake charges (of course), forcing her to perform hard labor.

   -With Consort Qī dealt with, Empress Dowager Lǚ then set her sights on eliminating the “threat” posed by Prince Liǘ Rúyì.

      -The empress repeatedly sent for Liǘ Rúyì to come to Cháng'ān, but of course Zhōu Chāng, speaking for Liǘ Rúyì, politely refused these summons.

         -Knowing that summoning the prince himself to the capital wouldn’t work, so Empress Dowager Lǚ decided to switch tactics and sent for Zhōu Chāng himself instead.  Thinking that he was safe since he was such good friends with the empress, Zhōu Chāng acquiesced, but was promptly arrested when he finally arrived at the capital.

            -Liǘ Rúyì knew that Zhōu Chāng’s life was in danger if he didn’t come to the capital himself, so unfortunately the prince finally made the decision to obey his stepmother’s summons and come to the capital.

               -Although Emperor Hùi did his best to protect his half-brother, of course this wasn’t enough since he just didn’t have enough power at this time, and eventually Liǘ Rúyì was poisoned and died.

               -After Liǘ Rúyì’s murder, the empress then had Consort Qī’s arms and legs cut off, her eyes gouged out, her tongue cut out, and then had her imprisoned in either a pig sty or lavatory (depending on which version of the story I guess) and fed livestock slop.

                  -When Emperor Hùi finally found out what was going on and saw the tortured and mutilated Consort Qī with his own eyes he had a mental breakdown (understandably) for about a year, during which all of his power was relinquished to Empress Dowager Lǚ.

                     -The emperor then spent most of his time just living a debauched life, most likely trying to numb the insanity caused by his mother’s brutality.

                        - Consort Qī finally died in 194 BC after being tortured to death.

-Although Empress Dowager Lǚ had killed Consort Qī and Liǘ Rúyì, she still wasn’t quite finished in terms of her paranoid purge in order to consolidate absolute power for herself.

   -Liú Féi (AKA Prince Dàohuì of Qí), Emperor Gāozǔ’s eldest son (with another one of his concubines) was invited to the capital by the empress for a glorious feast.

      -Of course, Emperor Hùi was a nice guy and allowed for his older half-brother to be seated ahead of him at the dinner table, which was a breach of etiquette (although it made sense because the emperor was just being polite), but this caused Empress Dowager Lǚ to seemingly fly into a rage.  She then went into the kitchen and ordered the servants to poison Liú Féi’s wine.

         -Of course, when it was time to drink Emperor Hùi knew (somehow) that the empress had poisoned Liú Féi’s wine, so he took his half-brother’s cup and made a toast as if he was going to drink out of the cup himself, which naturally caused his mother to leap up and stop her son from drinking the poisoned wine.  She then was REALLY pissed off, and after apologizing to his mother (!) he then allowed for Liú Féi to leave the feast and travel safely back to his home.

            -Apparently, after this Liú Féi was safe from the evil empress’ machinations, and I guess lived happily ever after?

-Perhaps she was frustrated from her inability to have Liú Féi murdered, so Empress Dowager Lǚ then decided that her next target was yet another one of Emperor Gāozǔ’s sons, Liú Yǒu (the prince of Zhào).

   -Although Liú Yǒu had married  the empress’ niece, he had recently been busted for having an affair.   

      -Seeking revenge for her husband’s infidelity, Liú Yǒu’s wife went to her aunt and told her that Liú Yǒu was planning a rebellion against the throne.

         -Upon hearing the news, Empress Dowager Lǚ summoned Liú Yǒu to the capital (which actually worked!).  When he arrived, of course, he was arrested and imprisoned, where he eventually starved to death.

-192 BC- Mòdú Chányú (emperor of the fledgling Xiōngnú Empire) sent word to the Hàn dynasty that he was terribly lonely and, seeing as how the empress was single, wanted to see if the empress was interested in marrying him (haha).

   -Of course, this really pissed off Empress Dowager Lǚ due to its insolence (a barbarian king asking for an EMPRESS’ hand in marriage?), and so the court began to plan for an invasion of the Xiōngnú Empire as a response.  However, the courtier Jì Bù pointed out that the Xiōngnú were much more powerful than whatever invasion force the Hàn dynasty could raise and that attacking them would obviously be insane.

      -Although this was followed by an awkward silence, everyone knew that he Jì Bù was right, and so instead the Hàn court sent back a humble letter turning down Mòdú Chányú and instead they just continued the héqīn tributary system (marriages between Hàn princesses and Xiōngnú lords along with gifts of wine, silk, and liquor from the Hàn dynasty) with the Xiōngnú.

-191 BC- at this point, Emperor Hùi was 19 years old, so Empress Dowager Lǚ decided that it was finally time for him to get married.

   -Bizarrely, the empress chose for her son Zhāng Yān, her own granddaughter and the emperor’s niece! 

      -I guess he had no real say in the matter, and upon being wed Zhāng Yān officially became Empress Xiàohuì of Hàn.

         -Although Emperor Hùi and Empress Xiàohuì never produced any children of their own, Empress Dowager Lǚ apparently tried to convince Empress Xiàohuì to officially adopt the sons born from Emperor Hùi’s other concubines as her own sons and then have those concubines subsequently executed afterwards (!!), and although it looks like the empress actually went through with the mass adoptions it’s unclear as to if these sons were actually the offspring of these concubines and the emperor himself (the fate of Emperor Hùi’s concubines is also kind of unclear as well, although it seems as if they were indeed killed).

   -During this time also Empress Dowager Lǚ began to elevate members of her own family (the Lǚ clan, as opposed to the imperial Liú clan) to positions of power.

      -This was ironic because it was actually Empress Dowager Lǚ’s idea originally that only those of imperial blood could become princes of the various regions of the Hàn Empire, but at this point she was using her autocratic grip on power to ensure that members of her side of the family were elevated to become princes and other offices otherwise reserved for those of imperial blood.

-188 BC- Emperor Hùi dies of a mysterious illness at the age of 22 (!).  He was replaced by his eldest (adopted) son, Liú Gōng, who was enthroned as Emperor Qiánshǎo of Hàn (and must have been about 10 years old around the time of his enthronement).

   -Unfortunately, we know so little about about Emperor Qiánshǎo that he’s not even included in a lot of the histories of the Hàn emperors.

      -The only real thing we know about him (that was recorded, at least) was that at one point (either in or before 184 BC) when he found out that he was adopted by Empress Xiàohuì he claimed that he would kill whoever was responsible for his biological mother’s death.  Of course, when Empress Dowager Lǚ found out about this she had the young emperor secretly imprisoned with the excuse that he was “ill” and then had him executed.

-184 BC- So, Empress Xiàohuì was dead, so Empress Dowager Lǚ had him replaced by his (adopted, like him) six-year-old little brother, Liú Yì (AKA Liú Hóng), who was enthroned as Emperor Hòushǎo of Hàn (although of course Empress Dowager Lǚ would still be calling all the shots, of course).

-180 BC- Empress Dowager Lǚ finally dies and is buried in Emperor Gāozǔ’s tomb.

   -Her reign of terror had lasted for about 15 years.

   -Did this mean that Emperor Hòushǎo was able to take control of the throne for himself?

      -This was because during her rule Empress Dowager Lǚ had re-stocked the government with members from her own clan, so they weren’t about to give up their power just so authority could be rightly restored to the emperor (who was still a boy, of course).

         -Empress Dowager Lǚ had even gone so far as to write in her will that Emperor Hòushǎo was to marry her grandniece as well as installing other various family members into important government offices and positions.

            -However, even though it was a “rumor” it was obvious that the Lǚ clan was trying to take power from the imperial Liú clan, so in a last ditch attempt to save the government these usurpers a bunch of officials led by the imperial chancellors Chén Píng, Zhōu Bó, and others formed an alliance.

               -The plan was for Liú Xiāng (AKA King Āī of Qí and grandson of Emperor Gāozǔ)to raise an army and invade the capital, while the imperial guard commanders Liú Zhāng (AKA Prince Jǐng of Chéngyáng) and his younger brother Liú Xīngjū would try and get the imperial guard to rebel against the Lǚ officials.  After invading the city Emperor Hòushǎo would be dethroned and Liú Xiāng would crown himself the new emperor.

                   -When Liú Xiāng raised his army and started marching he soon was met with the Hàn imperial army, led by Chancellor Guàn Yīng (AKA Marquess Yì of Yǐngyīn).  However, Guàn Yīng actually sympathized with the rebel army, and even ended up joining them in their rebellion!

                     -Meanwhile, back in the capital, the Liú clan tried to persuade the Lǚ clan to give up power in order to avoid unnecessary bloodshed.  This didn’t really work, though, so the Liú clan instead used military officers sympathetic to Liú Xiāng’s rebellion to order their troops to hunt down any Lǚ family members they could in order to completely exterminate them.

                        -Once the massacre was complete, the Liú clan held a meeting in which they officially decided that NONE of Emperor Hùi’s sons from his various concubines were legitimate (even if they had been officially adopted, since that was all the doing of Empress Dowager Lǚ) were legitimate and instead decided on Emperor Gāozǔ’s last surviving son, Prince Liú Héng of Dài, who, after some convincing, finally accepted to be enthroned as Emperor Wén of Hàn.

                               -Emperor Hòushǎo was stripped of his titles and evicted from the palace, and not too much longer after that was executed along with his wife, Empress Lǚ (unclear as to why, unfortunately).